The Shock Factor

When people are trying to bring awareness to a cause they usually go for 

The Shock Factor. 

In doing so they get a reaction out of people. 

A lot of journalist use this technique. 

They know that if they don't most people will not care or stop to read 

what it is they have to say. 

Below are two photos of children taken off the Russian Data Base. 

This one is of a little girl who lived in baby house first and then 

was transferred to an institution. 

This one is of a little boy who met the same fate. 

My guess is after looking at these pictures you are 

Shocked. 

The thing about these pictures is they are not necessarily the norm.

They are meant to Shock you and get your attention. 

Regardless if it is the norm or not it is the reality of these two children. 

So why am I showing you these pictures? 

Is it to Shock you into doing something? 

Yes. 

Does this mean I think Russia is horrible and America is better? 

No. 

Does it mean things like this don't happen in America?

No.

It means I care about these two children. 

That they count. 

That their lives matter. 

When this happens in America it is ALL over the news. 

If these were American children ever FB page would have the story 

plastered all over it. 

If animals in America are being treated like this it hits the TV news

and every social media outlet. 

So why do we care so little when it happens to these children?

Do we feel like there is nothing we can do so we should just hide our faces

and pretend it isn't happening? 

Do we think that it is just the Russian citizen's problem?

Why can't we care about all the children of the world? 

I am just trying to process why this is. 

I am not writing this post to try and shame the Russian people or to try and prove 

that America is better than Russia. 

I am sincerely writing this post because I care about these children and want to help. 

Two years ago I thought the way I was to help was by adopting one of them. 

My reason for adopting and not doing anything else wasn't because I didn't

think more needed to be done. 

My reason for adopting and doing nothing else was because it was all I felt I had 

the time and energy to do. 

My thought was if I could help just one child have a home I was 

doing my part. 

But now my focus is much larger. 

Over time I have learned about and donated to organization that help 

children with Special Needs stay with their birth families.   

I have learned and donated to organizations that make the orphanages a better place. 

Honestly I would like to go back to being naive. 

To not knowing children like these exist and live in these conditions. 

Instead I toss and turn at night and think of ways I can help

all of these children. 

I am not a wealthy person and am not an elegant talented blog writer. 

I do not have important contacts and most of the time I am ignored on FB

when I plead for help. 

So sometimes I resort to The Shock Factor. 

It gets people's attention. 

Here is the truth. 

These two children above look like this because they were in good 

baby houses and then transferred to bad institutions. 

Natasha was in an ok baby house and transferred to a 

remarkable institution and now looks better than when she was in the baby house. 

These children deserve a good family. 

Some families who have adopted Russian children have not been good families. 

Children in America and Russia are abused. 

For that matter

Children all over the world are abused. 

I am just one insignificant person who cries herself to sleep at night

because I can't do more for these children. 

I have a way I think will help raise awareness for these children

and maybe even get them adopted in their own country. 

There are two organizations that I have verified as being good.

Downside Up is one that helps families by providing
services to them so they can keep their children with Down syndrome.
So far they are only located in Moscow.
They need to grow to the poorer regions to really make a difference
on the orphanages.

It is my hope that people will see the value in these children and will
even be led to adopt them.

http://downsideup.org/ru

 ROOF is another organization that does wonderful things
to help make orphanages a better place.

http://eng.roofnet.org/

Our hope is to also try and get the remaining children that were matched

with American families home to them or adopted by Russian families. 

Some of the children have been adopted and we rejoice in that. 

But here is an article from the St. Petersburg Ombudsman

written July 31, 2013 

that shows only 4 people in 6 months have come forward to adopt the 33 matched children 

from St. Petersburg. 

Specialized departments of the city are actively recruiting new candidates for adoption, but in six months there was a total of four applicants. And, two - foreigners: from Italy and the UK. And two Russian families: some are just taking the girl with a diagnosis of HIV among the "thirty-three", but others are skeptical. But this is progress: for the other twenty-nine children the attention of potential parents can only dream ....

http://www.spbdeti.org/id3884#comments

It does not include the child with Down syndrome that 

was reunited with his birth family. 

So even though children are being adopted by 

families other than Americans

there are still children stuck in institutions that could have come home. 

Most of these children are older children, sibling groups or children

with severe disabilities. 

These children cannot be forgotten.

Please help me spread the word about them.

The above pictures are shocking and although not all children
in orphanages are treated this way a lot of them are.  

I realize that opening up adoptions to Americans again 

does not solve the orphan crisis in Russia but 

it can help until the country is ready to care for all their disabled children themselves. 

As I become more aware of programs that help these children 

in Russia I will post that information here. 

I still pray that one day there will be no need for orphanages 

where child with Special Needs are housed. 

The best place for these children would be with their birth families. 

Praying we can find a way to help them advance their resources but until that

time I will pray that those children stuck in orphanages find families. 

Metcha Day

Metcha Day

July 18, 2012

That's the name people who are adopting children internationally 

call the day they first meet their child. 

Metcha Day

The day you see in real life the little one you have 

loved from a far for so very long. 

One year ago today was

Metcha Day

I remember it like it was yesterday. 

Oh how nervous I was about meeting Natasha. 

I knew I would want to cry and run and scoop her up in my arms

but I knew that if I did I would frighten her. 

So I told myself to remember to show restraint. 

In the beginning that wasn't too hard.

We were in a hallway when they brought her out 

kicking and screaming. 

Boy was she mad!

Her group had just been taken outside and that is where she wanted to be. 

She didn't want us. 

She didn't want our toys. 

She wanted to go outside. 

And that was that.

I could have cried all I wanted and she would 

not have cared one little bit.

It definitely was not the way I had played it out in my mind. 

So it was time to change our game plan.

After about 2 minutes of her throwing her fit 

we asked if it would be ok for us to play outside with her. 

Once outside we were mobbed by all the other little children. 

But not Natasha

She was off and running

like a scene out of Madagascar 

with the music Born Free playing loudly in the background. 

Steve and I had to pry the other little children off us 

as they tried stroking our faces and saying

Mama and Papa in Russian. 

Their little faces are all a blur to me now. 

The child I was there for was the only one I could focus on.

I couldn't think too long or too hard about the other children 

because I knew it would break my heart to know 

they would most likely never have a Mama or a Papa. 

Natasha was to be the second child ever adopted from her orphanage.

The first child was also adopted from an American couple.

Some of the children who lived there had families that would come
and visit them weekly. So these children knew what
a mama and papa were. They had seen other children have them.

The workers finally had to scold the children to make them leave us alone.

 Our new plan included

blowing up a beach ball and chasing after Natasha. 

The ball was a hit

and after a few minutes we were all instant friends. 

From that moment on she couldn't get enough of us. 

Anything we said or showed her in sign language

she eagerly repeated. 

I can still hear her say the word "book"

in her little Russian accent. 

The word "book" from a child we were told did not know how to speak. 

She picked up the sign for ball and again very fast 

and was excited to show anyone who would watch her. 

Metcha Day

A day that brought so much joy to our lives. 

A day that we had longed for 

for so long. 

It had finally come
and it was a dream come true.

When we got back to our hotel room we 

looked at the pictures 

and I cried.

All those tears of worry and fear came tumbling down.
All the waiting and the paper chasing had all been worth it.

We had finally met her
and we were finally One Step Closer
to having her join our family.

Our pictures from our trip
 looked like something out of a fairy tale. 

You would have never guessed Natasha wanted nothing to 

do with us the first 5 minutes we were there. 

Looking at the pictures I could see the connection. 

Looking at her look into my eyes

and study my face left  me breathless.

There were no need for words

Our hearts were talking to each other
and it was a moment that will be etched in my brain forever. 

I look back and wonder how a day that was so glorious
and filled with hope

can cause so much pain now. 

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
I would be her mom
They won't let her be my girl

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
I would be her mom
They won't let her be my girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb

eyes that sparkle to the brim
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl I know
And Heaven knows
They won't let her be my girl

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the role I'm in
There's a girl I know
I love her so
but they won't let her be my girl

Below is the video we made of the first two days of our visits. 
It is a video I have watched hundreds of times
trying to relive those precious days. 

These pictures and videos are all that 
are left of my hopes and dreams for this little girl.

We have been trying for the past few months to see if we 

can find a family who would be willing to adopt Natasha. 

We were searching in Canada 

but recently found out that Russia is considering banning

all foreign adoptions. 

We would never want a couple or Natasha to 

go through meeting each other only to 

have the Russian government halt everything again. 

So far none of the children with DS have

been adopted that were matched with Americans. 

One child with DS might be

taken home by his birth family. 

We would love that for Natasha if it was an option. 

Unfortunately, it is not. 

I have written a letter to her region's Ombudsman. 

This woman is an amazing woman who 

fought long and hard for the children 

she is in charge of to come to 

the parents they met. 

She has given numerous interviews telling

how many children have been adopted due to the increase in funds

but also how many of them have been returned back to the orphanages
because of lack of training and support. 

My heart would break even more if a family took Natasha home

only to send her back

(according to the Ombudmans that is over 100 of 500 children adopted last year in her region only)

That would mean Natasha would lose her spot at her really good orphanage

and would just have to go back to wherever there was space. 

I continue to pray that does not happen.

The other thing we are fearful about right now is 

that the main Ombudsman is threatening to send the children in Natasha's region

to Chechnya.

One of my friends in Russia is very 

concerned about this.

He sent me the link to the article in Russia and said he would 

be praying hard this does not happen. 

Most people that live in Natasha's region are outraged by the ban.

They have all been working hard to find local families for these children
and also to provide support to families who want to keep their children.

But they feel like they are not in a position yet to take this task on their own.

If Natasha is adopted and then returned or if she is sent to
Chechnya there will be no news stories covering it.
There will be no outrage.
Only a few people will even notice or care.

This is why I continue to fight for her.

Not because I feel ENTITLED to have her be my daughter.

She is ENTITLED to a family.

A loving family.

Until the day I know she has one
she will be MY daughter
because right now she is no one else's.

I will continue to show her photos and video to
everyone I can get to look.

I will beg people to help me either get her home
or find a new family for her.

Her sad little database picture shows nothing
of her true personality and hasn't been updated in 3 years.

The pictures on my blog are magical and they are mine.
They show a beautiful little girl with an amazing spirit.
And if they help me find someone to be her family
or help our governments understand how much she is loved
they will have served their purpose.

Someone asked me recently when I would have closure
and be able to move on.

The answer is very simple....

When she is home.

Until then I will love you in my heart and dreams sweet Natasha.

Happy Metcha Day!

Trip to DC and PHONE CALLS PLEASE

My trip to DC was interesting and somewhat promising. 

And parts of it were downright comical. 

But before I share my trip with you 

I need your help once again. 

I will blog about the trip and post pictures tomorrow. 

Right now I need to get calling more of congress.

here is the contact information on signings the letter in case they say 
They don't have it
if they comment that they have not received the letter and are willing to sign, please take down the name of the staffer, their email address and phone number and pass it along to me. We will send them another letter from Landrieu’s Office.
To sign the letter you can call or email Whitney Reitz in Senator Landrieu’s office at 202-224-5824 or email her at whitney_reitz@landrieu.senate.gov.

PLEASE CALL YOUR SENATORS AND REPRESENTATIVES to ask them to sign the letter to President Obama about the adoption ban. Below you will find instructions on how you can help us out. Please do so. WE NEED YOUR HELP. Not only do we need to storm heaven with prayers we need to storm congress with calls.

The ball is rolling and picking up speed, but we need an AVALANCHE if we want to truly get our voices heard.  We are trying to get 90% of congress to sign by Friday morning.


Here is a sample of what you might want to say,

Hello, my name is     , I am calling because I have a friend who flew to Russia in July and met a little girl with Down syndrome that they were hoping to adopt. This little girl will grow up in an adult mental institution if she is not allowed to be adopted by my friend. I am calling you to ask that you sign the letter asking President Obama to speak with President Putin at their upcoming meeting about the adoption ban. The letter was sent to you by Senator Landrieu. Please sign the letter to help my friend have the chance to finally bring her daughter home. Thank you,


PHONE NUMBERS YOU WILL NEED:
The area codes for these numbers is 202
http://www.senate.gov/general/resources/pdf/senators_phone_list.pdf
http://www.house.gov/representatives/


Here is a link to the most up to date list of Senator signatures. 
This list also includes the phone numbers for those who have NOT signed. 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AhWbRJnZB6medGJGSExwV016dXVKQmFlTlp1YllNV3c#gid=0

Here is a link to the most up to date list of Representatives that HAVE signed
and the link to search for who your Representatives are. 
If you do not see them on the list please call them. 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AhWbRJnZB6medGJGSExwV016dXVKQmFlTlp1YllNV3c#gid=1

http://www.house.gov/representatives/


The following States have NO ONE who has signed from 
the House or the Senate. 
If you live in one of these States and would be willing to call
that would be a HUGE blessing. 

Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, 

Maine, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, 

Tennessee, Utah, and West Virginia. 

Here is a link where you can find YOUR House Representatives

http://www.house.gov/representatives/

Directions to use Doodle:

1. Click on the link for the state that you are calling.
2. Type your name in under "participants"
3. Click to check the boxes of the Senator or Congressman that you called. 
4. Click save

ALABAMA - http://www.doodle.com/t3499quuhkeum84r
ALASKA - http://www.doodle.com/4p8qrpn4ie5ukibr
ARIZONA - http://www.doodle.com/8kk7f68cqe74p6kt
ARKANSAS - http://www.doodle.com/gei6gucwwtwe5thq
CALIFORNIA - http://www.doodle.com/x89ws4dvfqzmyvqy
COLORADO - http://www.doodle.com/rvtebuimx9f7vdh3
CONNECTICUT - http://www.doodle.com/n8cf6gdiq8nan8c7
DELAWARE - http://www.doodle.com/wyzi3tr3pp4eynb4 
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA -http://www.doodle.com/u7ytgqkpc32yefdr
FLORIDA - http://www.doodle.com/ybi22n93cg4g2wem
GEORGIA - http://www.doodle.com/ghbec22mz4ypv7tt
HAWAII - http://www.doodle.com/rxwpuyhdeezcsk8a
IDAHO - http://www.doodle.com/acpcnxnskiqvy9g2
ILLINOIS - http://www.doodle.com/d5msazx3nn4we4st
INDIANA - http://www.doodle.com/zki8hs8rpe4uq7gc
IOWA - http://www.doodle.com/if2ktsteh7vdrqd6
KANSAS - http://www.doodle.com/pg6w85tc3a9tcb68
KENTUCKY - http://www.doodle.com/rwp84i3qykhss429
LOUISIANA - http://www.doodle.com/ufrtbbart3rsemk6
MAINE - http://www.doodle.com/vwrnk3gmq6iwucpa
MARYLAND - http://www.doodle.com/asxrrqbh3bv8cb4g
MASSACHUSETTS - http://www.doodle.com/vpr2d7my6h78whef
MICHIGAN - http://www.doodle.com/hxb2mwmknzpc2v43
MINNESOTA - http://www.doodle.com/tcwapsxbpamudk5x
MISSISSIPPI - http://www.doodle.com/92bu9serw7hdqhkb
MISSOURI - http://www.doodle.com/pwcyx32rmmzfi29g
MONTANA - http://www.doodle.com/7efvni25uf2cque2
NEBRASKA - http://www.doodle.com/97m59f6xnh5atdqu
NEVADA - http://www.doodle.com/wui56zhexqdfu9b3
NEW HAMPSHIRE - http://www.doodle.com/chuqzsurhdfz4z2c
NEW JERSEY - http://www.doodle.com/z64u7keb7uywqhn6
NEW MEXICO - http://www.doodle.com/54eidvvz5yms6ik4
NEW YORK - http://www.doodle.com/fk5knzsd656p4trn
NORTH CAROLINA - http://www.doodle.com/ipfzyrv4khqkapdi
NORTH DAKOTA - http://www.doodle.com/e3agpt86rbpc8p5z
OHIO - http://www.doodle.com/8ufyvrep82xiztz3
OKLAHOMA - http://www.doodle.com/rd5p36m43w89h7ew
OREGON - http://www.doodle.com/qse54qssg3sreg39
PENNSYLVANIA - http://www.doodle.com/m8qhpiaf7gya6wut
PUERTO RICO - http://www.doodle.com/u7ytgqkpc32yefdr
RHODE ISLAND - http://www.doodle.com/g8kv547r64rwzxiv
SOUTH CAROLINA - http://www.doodle.com/ec4xkenfue5th288
SOUTH DAKOTA - http://www.doodle.com/iuvarr8648rrc6b2
TENNESSEE -http://www.doodle.com/qhgwfccwcequ67ug
TEXAS - http://www.doodle.com/wt8gegwztvxddiek
UTAH - http://www.doodle.com/izwnzewcyxku3z4w
VERMONT - http://www.doodle.com/g4xpkqkgepha3mrq
VIRGINIA - http://www.doodle.com/ii46eksh6ts8ts9b
WASHINGTON - http://www.doodle.com/dkysxw8uhbbygcr7
WEST VIRGINIA - http://www.doodle.com/yib58m55vafipqi9
WISCONSIN - http://www.doodle.com/9x2zredu239ybsq2

I am so grateful for everything everyone has done so far. 

I am still holding out hope that one day Natasha will be home playing 

in the yard with her family instead of sitting in an institution. 

Feeling "Wicked"

Look out Washington DC

Here I come

And I am feeling "Wicked"

Defying Gravity

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules 

of someone else's game

Too late for second guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes:  

and leap!

It's time to try defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits

cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

but till I try I'll never know

Too long I've been afraid of 

losing love I guess I've lost

Well if that's love it comes at much to high a cost

I'd sooner try defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down!

So if you care to find me

Look to the Western sky

As someone told me lately

Everyone deserves the chance to fly!

And if I'm flying solo

at last I'm flying free

To those who ground me

take a message back from me

Tell them how I am defying gravity

I'm flying high defying gravity

And soon I'll match them in renown

And NO BODY in all of OZ

No Wizard that there is or was

IS EVERY GOING TO BRING ME DOWN!!!!

An Easy Way for you to Help

Many people have felt helpless during the adoption ban. 

There is an easy way you can help our family and the children

stuck in the adoption ban. 

Next week there will be families going to DC to meet with their Senators to ask them to make sure

Kerry and President Obama talk with the Russian Government 

in their upcoming meetings about the adoption ban and 

what they can do to get these children home. 

Please take the time to sign this letter. 

Everyone in your house, who is of voting age, may sign their own letter. 

It will be printed off and given to your Senators in DC next week. 

We need people to email this, share it on Facebook, Tweet

and blog to make sure we have thousands of letters to present next week. 

Our government needs to know that it is not just the families who were

trying to adopt that care about these children. 

Please take the time to sign this. 

It won't take more than 2 minutes of your day. 

You do not have to download or print anything off. 

Just type in your name, email address and home address and the 

letter will be sent to the organizer of the letter campaign. 

She will make sure it gets into the right hands next week. 

You can find out more information on this blog

or this Facebook Page.

President Obama and President Putin have yet to met and discuss 

the adoption ban. They are meeting in June and we need to make sure

the ban is on the agenda.  

All talks before this have been done with other government 

agencies. 

It is our last hope that these two men at the top can work 

things out and allow those of us stuck in the process to continue with our adoptions.

But we need our Senators to urge President Obama to make this a priority. 

You can help us accomplish that by signing and sharing this letter. 

https://secure.echosign.com/public/hostedForm?formid=5IZKWFV2I644FE

We appreciate all of you for your support in helping us get Natasha home.