Far Different Places

Justin

Our 4th and last son born to us.

Our son that never took a breath on this earth

and only made it 6 months into the pregnancy.

Our son who would have been 7 this year.

Justin

Our son who I have been thinking about
a lot this week.

This post is dedicated to our son

Justin

Because without him we would have
never thought to venture out on this journey to

Far Different Places.


To give you a little background about this song I thought
I would include some posts I wrote during our fostering
of Nevaeh.

For a long time I tried to convince myself that this was her song.
And the song can apply to her too.

But no matter how hard I tried to make this song
be something different
it has always been about the journey we would
take with a child that has Down syndrome.

My heart has known this for a very long time.

In December of 2005 I had a discussion with a lady at church.
She was 40 and had just found out she was pregnant.

I told her how I was feeling like we were suppose to have
another child but just kept pushing it aside.

She told me I had better listen or otherwise I would
end up like her and be over 40 and pregnant.

I remembering crying as I told her I just couldn't
"because I was so sure I was going to have a child with Down syndrome"
and after my last pregnancy I just wasn't sure I could do it again.

(From Our Journey with Nevaeh - How we came to adopt)

Luckily, Steve went to the doctor's visit with me on Friday, August 29, 2003, because it was on that day we learned our baby no longer had a heartbeat. We were told we had several options. We decided we would have the baby at the hospital, but we had to wait until Tuesday because it was Labor Day Weekend.

We went in early on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 to have me induced. It was a strange feeling going to a hospital to have a baby that we knew was not coming home with us. It was the same hospital we had gone to two times before and brought home two beautiful healthy baby boys. We had had the whole weekend to grieve and come to terms with what was happening, but it was hard to walk through the door of the delivery room and see that there was a picture of a leaf with a teardrop on it. This picture was to notify all workers that the person in the delivery room was not having a live baby.

The staff was wonderful and I remember the nurse being so upset that she had to leave me at 7:00 p.m. because her shift had ended and I still had not delivered. She was in tears when she left. Luckily, I was not in much physical pain. I just wanted to have it over with so I could grieve and get on with things. The nurse was very surprised when she came back at 7:00 a.m. the next morning and I still had not delivered. I don't remember the exact time I delivered and I will not go into detail about it, but I never want to relive that again. It was the most painful delivery I ever had, and I have had a 9 pound baby. I remember sobbing so hard that my whole body was shaking. 

Blog Post August 2008

About 10 years ago I went to a fireside where Janice Kapp Perry was the speaker. She spoke of an album (yes that is what they called them back then) she had written for people who had children with special needs. I went and purchased the tape to send to a friend who had a child that had been diagnosed with Autism. I never ended up mailing the tape because life got busy for me as it always does. So I put the tape up and forgot about it.


Then one day several months after we lost our 4th son, I found the tape and listened to it in the car. I had an overwhelming feeling that Heavenly Father had a daughter for us with special needs. This thought frightened me because I thought it was a Down syndrome baby ( baby with Down syndrome would be the correct way to say this) and I wasn't sure I could handle it. Again I put the tape away and forgot about it.

A few months after we moved here, I again found the tape and listened to it. Steve and I had been discussing if we should have more children but we never felt like we got an answer to try again so we dropped it. When I found the tape, I again felt like there was a daughter for us with special needs. Again it scared me because I wasn't sure I would be able to handle it. Again the tape got put away. 




Far Different Places 

A husband, a wife, a simple plan for life --Love in our home, A child of our own. 

Then a lullaby tune from a hospital room - As hushed voices whispered the news. Just a simple exchange, yet everything changed - And I think in that moment we knew.

Our journey would take us to far different places then we had ever dreamed.

 Our journey would take us to sad, lonely places that some have never seen. 

Places with a different kind of beauty, a special place apart. Touching far different places in our hearts. 

A woman, a man, a very different plan - Blessing to earn, and so much to learn. 

For this child that we love, entrusted to us, would help us be all we could be. 

God made no mistake, and though our hearts ached, He touched us and helped us to see.

Our journey would take us to far different places then we had ever dreamed.

Our journey would take us to sad, lonely places that some have never seen. 

Places with a different kind of beauty, a special place apart. Touching far different places in our hearts. 

So Justin

8 years ago your mother would have never dreamed
she would have the courage to foster a child for
18 months, drop that child off at a halfway house and leave her for the weekend.
All the while thinking that this child that she had loved for
for so long was now going back to a horrible situation.

(video I made of Nevaeh when she started overnight visits and we thought she was leaving)


8 years ago your mother would have never dreamed
that 2 years later she would have the courage to
cross the ocean and adopt a child
with Down syndrome and
tackle the overwhelming challenge of
International Adoption.

The very thing in which she begged the Lord not to challenge her with.

 (music to Far Different Places)


Justin

Thank you for giving your mother the courage to do these things.

And although I never had the chance to hear you cry or
watch you grow, I am so grateful to God for allowing me to be your mother.

Because of you I have found the courage to do things I never would have dreamed possible.

Homeschool Curriculum Sale

Fellow Homeschool Friends

Have a great time shopping

Lots of  Great Stuff

Hope you find something that you need.

As things sale I will post above them in Red

that they are SOLD.

Click on the highlighted areas to see a description
of what the product is.

Please email me at 

cans4carlene@yahoo.com

to discuss shipping cost or to ask questions.

I usually ship insured media mail unless you wish otherwise.

MATH 


Integrated Math I
Like New Condition
Teacher Text
Student Text
Assignments and Assessments
All consumable paperback books
$10.00

Modern Curriculum Press Mathematics
Teacher's Guide E
5th grade
Good condition
$1.00


Teacher's Guide D
4th grade
Good Condition
$1.00


Teacher's Guide A
1st grade
Good Condition
$1.00


Student books can be ordered for $20


Algebra II
Cliff Notes
Cover is worn
but inside of book is in good condition
$.50

HISTORY

Footsteps in Time The Egyptians
Good Condition
No Writing inside
$1.00




Slavery
Thematic Unit
Like New

$1.00




The King Fisher History Encyclopedia
Book jacket a little worn
but inside of book like new
Hard Cover
$5.00


The Usborne Book of
World History
Front cover a little worn
but inside of book like new
Hard Cover
$1.00


The California Gold Rush
Hard cover with dust jacket a little worn
inside of book is in good condition
$1.00




ENGLISH


Prentice Hall Literature
Timless Voices, Timless Themes Gold Level
Cover worn
but inside is in good condition
$1.00




Shurley English
Level 6 Teacher's Manual
No CD
Cover looks well used
but inside of book is in good condition
Soft Cover
$5.00


Write Source 2000
Cover looks used
but inside of book is in good condition
Hard Cover
$1.00


Write Source
Cover is worn
but inside of book is in good condition
Soft Cover
$1.00




Writing Grade 4
New Condition
$.50

Writing Grade 5 
New Condition
$.50




The Phonetic Zoo
A Self-Teaching Spelling Program
Level A
CD Case shows wear
but CD's and Cards are in excellent condition
$25.00



The Phonetic Zoo
A Self-Teaching Spelling Program

Level B

CD Case shows wear
but missing some cards but uses same cards as Level A.
$20.00





The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle
Very good condition
$.50


Daybook of Critical Reading and Writing
4th Grade
Cover a shows a little wear
no writing inside of book
$.50

Think Analogy Puzzles
Grades 3-5
Will not run on Vista
only runs on XP/2000/ME/NT/98/95
$1.00

Word Roots A1
Critical Thinking Co.
Like New
$1.00


SCIENCE


Noeo Science Chemistry I
Comes with teachers guide and books
All books are in like new condition.
Kits 1,7, & 8 never opened
Kits 5 & 11 may need to be purchased - Not sure if anything is missing in them
$50.00


The Digital Frog 2.5
Brand New - Never Used
and
Science Matrix
Brand New - Never Used
both $25.00


Dinah Zike's Teaching Science Foldables
Brand New Condition
$1.00


Prentice Hall Science
Sound and Light Student and Teacher's Edition
Good Condition
$1.00


Prentice Hall Science Explorer
Sound and Light
$.50


MUSIC




Ernie Ball Phase 1
How to Play Guitar
Good Condition
$1.00


The Christmas Collection
53 Songs for Classical Singers
Good Condition
$1.00


The Teen's Musical Theatre Collection
Young Men's Edition
Good Condition
No CD
$1.00




MISC


Xyron 505
This machine is like new but they don't make it anymore.
It is basically the same of the 510 and takes the same cartridges.
I have two acid free permanent adhesive cartridges that come with it.
$10.00

Pinewood Derby Speed Secrets
Like New Condition
$1.00
 
Disney's Extreme Skate Adventure
PlayStation 2
$3.00


My Memories Suite 2
Digital Scrapbooking Software
use coupon code
STMMMS69334
to receive $10 off and a $10 coupon to use on digital paper kits
$29.97 after $10 off. 


Story Time Felts & More
Fun and Education Felt products
ranging in price from $3.00 and up
I am a consultant for this company  so if you would like to
host an on-line party and get free products
just contact me.
You can see how I have used these products by visiting
Pretty Princess Preschool



Every purchase brings us that make closer
to our goal of getting our little one home.


Thanks for your help.

Daughter of a King

When Steve and I were still in the process of

praying about if adopting again was 

something Heavenly Father had in his plan for us;

I cam across this picture on another blog

and cried.

We had been told that after Carlene lost her family 

there were several families checking into adopting her.

So I started looking at some other 

sweet faces on Reece's Rainbow.

And Alice and Lily 

were 2 of the other little faces I had

been looking into.

Along with these 3 girls looking at me

was this incredible quote by a man

I love and admire 

and I even heard him give this talk with

this exact quote in it. 

So I sat and cried as I thought about these

Daughters of a King.

Locked away forever.

Never finding their Happily Ever After.

This is not the end of Carlene's story.

She will get her Happily Ever After.

Alice and Lily still need someone to 

come and rescue them.

Will it be you?

Will you help them learn about a loving Heavenly Father

that wants them to know they are his Princesses?

After we committed to bring Carlene home,

I happened upon one of the songs

that goes with this talk.

I was given a CD that had church music on it in Russian.

Then I was given a link that had the song

"Daughter of a King"

sung in Russian by the Lara Johnson.

How blessed I feel to know that when we get Carlene home

she can listen to this song in her native tongue 

and know that she truly is a princess

a Daughter of a King.

I Wished for You

"I Wished for You"

is one of my all time favorite adoption books.

I know that this blog is dedicated to our journey to our little one

but I wanted to share with you the post I did on 

Nevaeh's adoption anniversary.

I hope to someday soon read this book to our little one.

So this post is for anyone on this wonderful journey called adoption.

Get your tissue out if you have never read this book.

I Wished for You

My Dearest Nevaeh,

I can't believe it has been a year already. One whole year of relief. One whole year of knowing that you are our forever daughter. One whole year of not having to worry about if you are staying with us or leaving to live somewhere else. I can't believe it has been one whole year of pure bliss.

April 22nd, your Adoption Day, will always hold a special place in my heart. 

You have brought so much joy and happiness into our lives since the day you came and your little personality has blossomed so much over this last year.  You have a way of making all of us laugh  - the way you stand on a chair and wave your hands around like you are the ring leader of a circus. And then how you tell us to clap for you and you take a bow. Of course this is all happening while we are suppose to be doing family scripture study. You definitely have us all wrapped around your little finger.

Recently I purchased a bunch of adoption books for you. The day they came in the mail I was on my way to do some grocery shopping. I sat in the parking lot and started reading them. As I sat and read "I Wished For You" tears streamed down my face. You are still too young to really understand the book but we sit and read it together anyway. I change the name of the bear to your name because you always get a kick out of stories if I put your name in.

I Wished for You by Marianne Richmond

"Mama, Tell me again how I'm your wish come true"

"A long time ago, a wish started growing in my heart. At first, it was a quiet wish that nobody knew. Then it became an out-loud wish that grew and grew and grew. Until one day, my wish came true."

"Why did you wish for me, Mama?"

"Because, I had an empty place in my heart that I wanted to fill with love for a special child like you."

"Oh. What about the mama who grew me in her tummy? Didn't she wish for me, too?"

"Sometimes, Nevaeh, a mama will grow a baby in her belly, and for all kinds of reasons, she'll decide she cannot be the very best mama she wants to be. The mama who grew you loved you enough to make a different wish- a wish for a family who would love her little one with a total and adoring love. The kind of love I have for you."

"Mama, Did you wish for me by name?"

"When I first wished my wish, I didn't know your name. But that didn't stop my wishing. I asked God to look around and find the child who would be the perfect one for me."

"Nevaeh, of all the children in the whole wide world, God picked you for me."

"Did you wish for me all day, Mama? Or only when the stars were out?"

"All the time. I wished for you with my morning coffee, and when I made my bed. I couldn't get my wish for you out from in my head."

"Did you ever think, that your wish might not come true?"

"Oh yes...I wished for you through many phone calls and through mountains of paperwork. I wished for you while I waited and waited and waited. "


"Sometimes, I didn't hear any news about your for weeks or months. But I held onto my wish tightly - like the string on a balloon."

"One day... One glorious, special, wonderful day, I found out my wish was coming true."

"What did you do?"

"I shouted for joy! And I cried happy tears. I told all my friends... and they hugged me and cried, too. Everyone knew how much I had been wishing for you."

""Do wishes always come true?"

"No, not all of our wishes come true. But don't ever stop wishing for the hopes of your heart."

"I won't".

"But I came true."

"Yes, you did, Nevaeh. I wished for you , and you are always and forever my wish come true."

Thank you, Nevaeh, for bringing us so much love and laughter. Thank you for helping us to learn to have faith and rely on God when all hope seems lost. Thank you for being my wish come true.

Love,

Your Forever Momma

Sailing to Holland

Our family is about to set sail for the adventure of a lifetime.

An adventure that will be far more daunting yet far more

rewarding than anything we have ever

encountered before in our lives.

Some people will cheer us on.

Others will try to sink us.

But we know that we have been

called on this journey and look forward to 

the rewards of our adventure.

Where are we sailing you may ask?

Why to Holland.
(If you don't click on Holland and
read it you won't understand this)

To see all the beauty that God has in store for us.

Please cheer us on and encourage us

as we embark on our new adventure.

We will treasure your comments as

we encounter rough seas.

Just know that no matter what happens

we will do whatever it takes to 

reach Holland. 

Okay, so you may have figured out that we aren't really going to Holland.
But if you clicked on the word Holland highlighted above you
may have figured out that we are going to be
adding a child with Special Needs
to our family.

We will actually be going to Eastern Europe.
*can't say exactly where because it's against the rules*
We will be adopting this beautiful little girl
who happens to have Down syndrome.

She will be known as "Carlene"
until her adoption is finalized because we can't
tell you her real name.

We really would love for all of you to follow
along on our adventure.

We are so grateful for those of you
who have already loved Carlene for
so long and who have donated so much to her
in hopes of finding her a forever family.

We know it is not going to be an easy journey
but we know it will definitely be worth it.