Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Tale of the Christmas Hats or Operation Riding Hood



This is the story of the love of a mom and lots of Russian citizens who were determined to bring Christmas gifts to a little orphan girl and her friends despite the rulings of a Russian President who signed a law to keep them apart. 

I will give you the short version of the story here but please read and look at the pictures below for the long version of the story even though it is in Russian with Google Translate to help tell it. 

Since I knew that there was no way Natasha would be home for her Birthday or Christmas again this year, I was determined to send some sort of gift to her. 

I thought long and hard about what I should send. It couldn't be too heavy because shipping is very expensive and it had to be somewhat practical because she lives in an orphanage where everything is shared. 

I found a blog where two teenage girls make silly hats to raise money for orphans and fell in love with the idea. I also wanted to send a dress for the New Year Celebration since she would not be home to wear it for Christmas.



Friends volunteered to purchase a hat because I needed to get 10 of them for the group and pay for shipping too. I am so grateful to those who helped purchase the hats. 

My next problem was I was running out of time to get them shipped. 

The girls made the hats super fast and I asked for opinions on FB for the best way to ship them. 

That is when Maria told me there was no way they would make it by Natasha's birthday as they would get stuck in customs. I was sick thinking about missing her birthday and Christmas once again. 

That is when Maria got this brilliant idea. She would put out a request on FB and ask if anyone was traveling from the US to Moscow anytime before Christmas. She said she would figure out how to get them to St. Petersburg after that and she would ask the director of the orphanage permission to do a news story on it. 

What happened next amazed me. So many Russian citizens coming forward to help but not until after Christmas. My heart was broken as I was desperate to get them there by Christmas. 

The little hats and dress went on a very exciting journey. I overnighted them from Southern California to Northern California where a man I had never met or talked to put them in his suitcase to fly with him to Warsaw Poland. There was a lady having a meeting with people from Moscow there. I am told the hats then got on a plane with another person in Poland to fly to Moscow. From there Maria picked them up and found someone to take them on the train from Moscow to St. Petersburg. 

The journalist took them to the orphanage on December 24th and the story of their time with the children is written below. 

I will never forget the kindness of strangers who helped make my Christmas one of the best I have ever had. To see the smile on the children's faces and to know they received extra attention that day is a gift that I will never forget. 

Maybe one day someone will write the tale of the Christmas Hats to remind the world there is still peace on earth and goodwill toward men. You just have to know where to look for it even in a crazy international adoption ban. 


Google translation below

Without mom

Exactly one year ago, on December 28, Vladimir Putin signed "antisirotsky law." Because of this law a little Lera, which could become a happy girl, still lives in an orphanage. Chance that someone will love her as an American love Katrina, no

Of course, eight-Leray elegant dress could easily buy in St. Petersburg. And then Katrina Morris would not have to look absolutely crazy opportunity - from California to Washington, from Washington to Warsaw, from Warsaw to Moscow, from Moscow to St. Petersburg - only managed to gift for Christmas. But she wanted to choose a dress blond girl, her invalid daughter. Incidentally, burgundy dress with a red belt, which flew to the orphanage just in time, sitting on the Leray as if they were together with Katrina tried on him. And American bought ten funny knitted hats - Lerin girlfriends. (Correspondents "New" became the last link in an operation codenamed "caps." We met at the Moscow station parcel and had to take her to an orphanage Leray.) 




Summer 2012. Katrina with Leroy sit on the swing and still have no idea what awaits them

The new dress with a red strap Lera could not stop looking at yourself

Operation "Riding Hood" was successful. Gifts for Lera, Christina, Myra and other kids flew from California to St. Petersburg. Photos from this festival, we sent back to California Katrina Morris










Katrina
   Katrina Read this page in facebook is impossible without tears. In November 2012 it is still fun to share with friends stories about what they tons of paper with her ​​husband had collected. "I hate flying, I do not like foreign food and unknown places. But there's my daughter "- she writes, not knowing how it would be. Leroux expected not only Katrina and Stephen, but their four children: three sons and a teenage stepdaughter.

   Couple wants to call a girl Natasha. "She has a birthday on December 19 and she looks like a Christmas baby. And its adoption would be for her as a new birth, "- writes Katrina.

   In December, everything changes. Duma has already passed a law of Dima Yakovlev third reading, but Putin has not yet signed it. December 27 Katrina meets friends who are trying to encourage her: "Miracles do happen, but this is unlikely. All we can do now is pray that we will be allowed to complete the adoption. "

   Prayers have not helped. The next day, December 28, Russian President signs "antisirotsky law." "It hurts like hell when I understand that I may never see her again and she'll never know love, family."
   But Katrina did not give up. She collects signatures, appeals to U.S. senators, asking them to pray to Obama, that though he got through to his Russian colleagues.

   It liaises with children's home in St. Petersburg, where he lives Lera, and devotes her poetry: "I do not want to be someone, who go so easily. I will not abandon you. " A year later, on the eve of Lerin birthday, she is still waiting for the little girl, although he understood that more than likely never see her again.

   "I would love Russian family that would take Natasha, but we were told - its chances of adoption are extremely small . She was lucky though because it is in a very good location "- sadly she says.

House   Lera Down syndrome, so she lives in a boarding number 1 for children with intellectual disabilities.Despite the heavy title, this is a very beautiful house.    We come during quiet hours, and while the kids are asleep, director Valery Asikritov leads us beautifully renovated building, shows a huge decorated Christmas Tree in the auditorium where caregivers rehearse matinee: in everyday clothes dancing call Santa Claus and dance in a circle. "This is what we now went over when dance led, and tomorrow there will be children in wheelchairs and everything will be different," - explains Maiden. The house smells delicious food and comfort. Everyone we meet in the hallways, smiling.    Valery, of course, proud and renovated, and the tree, and excellent food, which is prepared his team. But he is a very kind person, so admits a good family children still better. A year wanting to take Leroux among Russians was not found.    "History Lera - exception. No potential parents of these children do not. In all the years that I've been working only in the 90s, Americans adopted a boy. And a year and a half ago, the woman took the two custody "- says Valentina Popova, Deputy Director. After Lera and her friends not only Down syndrome, but the mass of comorbidities - the eight-year Natasha optic atrophy (because of poor eyesight she feels the interlocutor), in a five-year Worlds bowel problems, she was silent, smiling and occasionally grabs his tummy .    of the two hundred pupils home one hundred thirty orphans with living parents. And in turn, according to Valentina Popova, worth almost another forty children. Most often single mothers ask them to pick up in a boarding school, because I do not have time to work and care for the child. They could visit the children, taking them on vacation, but in almost all group Lera - refuseniks. To the World, for example, occasionally comes grandmother, mother and father of the girl refused.

Lera    Quiet time ends and running towards us Lera. She hugs everyone asks her to wander, leads visitors along. Seeing the dress, it immediately puts. Long walks through all caps and selects one for a photo shoot - boys with stripe «S», which means "Superman." She likes to be the center of attention, like to chat, meet people, like to be beautiful.    Lera stubborn fighting and endlessly amusing. If she wants to her circled or used on the hands, it will stand any competition from others wanting to discourage, but soar.    Nadezhda, educator, says that in March, they will put the fairy tale "The Fox, Rabbit and Rooster." Roles have been distributed. As children barely speak (only certain syllables and short words "yes" or "no"), all the characters, including the Spring and Sunny will play through movement. Fox will perform the role of a girl from another group - she says. Leray got the role of the Cockerel, which helps drive Zaika Fox.    Christina came to us she silently puts on one of the caps, sees a piece of paper, a pencil requests, sits on the carpet and begins to draw. Nadezhda says Christina calm but very touchy, "Whatever you say, immediately sponge puff up."    In Worlds very beautiful eyes and long eyelashes. The world loves it when she is being held in his arms. Adult she looks very intently. As long and calmly looks at his reflection in the large Christmas tree toys. "They need to feel that they are loved. That's all, "- says the educator.    To get from the rooms to the assembly hall, you have to climb to the second floor. Of the girls with the teacher leaves the elevator, part goes peshochkom. Christina, a tiny, with short hair, in a pink dress, lying one of the first. Girl in front of her light can not overcome the last four stage. Christine rushes to her for help. Light from helping proudly refuses, saying that myself.    Assembly hall Sasha shoe drops. Lera immediately rushes to her and starts to pull on her shoes.    dancing girls, photographed in hats, playing with white balls similar to snow. And each is trying to draw attention to themselves. They repeat the movement for you, touch you again and ask them to wander.

Finals    getting dark, we go to court.Before us is a swing on which a half years ago Leroy sat with his invalid mother and father. Then she had a huge blue bow tied. No snow, only withered grass circle. The decor is reminiscent of a children's summer camp, only sad.    "In the camp you know that two weeks back home. And here you will not get home ... never "- sighs colleague. 

Thursday, December 26, 2013

So Many Stories

Remember a few post ago I told you about my new theme song
Brave?

I have been raising my voice a lot lately with the help of 
some amazing Russian journalist. 

They are the Brave ones. 

They are trying to raise awareness for the children 
left behind especially with the year anniversary of the ban. 

I have felt so honored to be interviewed by them 
and to have become good friends with two of them. 

I have lots to share but for right now I will just share the articles
I have been in recently. 

There is more to come. 

We are raising our voices together and it feels good to tell the 
Russian citizens about our amazing "EX REFERRAL" Natasha. 

You all know I mean our "daughter" Natasha but I put that in there just for my 
lovely troll who likes to make sure I know that I no longer have any legal claim to her. 
As if somehow I am just supposed to walk away and let her grow up in an institution without 
putting up some sort of fight. 

Anyway, back to the articles we have been interviewed for. 
They are all in Russian so you will need to use 
Google Translator unless of course you speak Russian. 

I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate the efforts
these women have put forth in fighting for the forgotten children. 

I don't think they ever sleep and they have to endure far worse trolls than I do. 

So from the bottom of my heart 
thank you Maria and Julia for helping the children have a voice. 

There are other journalist that have written about us but I do not know them 
personally but I thank them too. 





and this last link is a letter we wrote to the children so they 
will know they were not forgotten.



So that is what I have been up to the past month along 
with making our video

Oh and one other thing that is still a secret and I can't share yet
but am really excited and nervous about. 

Tomorrow I hope to be able to share a Christmas Hat story with you. 

I am waiting for it to get published in a paper first 
but can't wait to share this amazing story either. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays 

and

thanks for caring about my girl. 

Friday, December 20, 2013

Sending You A Little Christmas

Yesterday was Natasha's birthday

I spent the whole day working on a video 
that shows a lot of the children and families stuck in the Adoption Ban. 

I spent a lot of time crying yesterday looking 
at all the sweet faces that could be home enjoying Christmases and birthdays. 

A lot of the children that were originally matched with Americans have been placed in new homes. 
Some were adopted, some taken into foster care and some returned home to biological families. 

The publicity the ban has received has opened up the eyes of many in Russia 
and they are starting to open their hearts to adoption. 

This is a very good thing. 

There is no way foreigners would be able to adopt all the children in 
Russian orphanages. 

I have seen more publicity on organizations that help families keep their
children with special needs. 

That is really where the focus should be. 

While all these things are wonderful there are still children
stuck in orphanages that could be home right now. 

Natasha turned 8 years old yesterday. 

For 8 years now she has sat in an orphanage wondering where her family is. 

Then she finally finds one that wants her and her government will not
allow the adoption to continue. 

As families caught in the ban we have tried to get our President to 
negotiate on our behalf but he refuses to do so. 

Most Americans feel like the children are Russia's problem and 
they do not wish to help either. 

Some will come and comment that we have no business
adopting for Russia because of children that have been killed and abused here. 

I have no answers for all of these people. 

All I know is what is in my heart. 

And that is an 8 year old little girl that I met in July 2012. 

One that I love so much it brings me to my knees in a puddle of tears thinking of her along in an orphanage,

waiting for us to return just like the children in this video I made. 

Please watch and share this video. 

Pray for these children that they may be comforted and 
for the families that love them. 

We just want them to know they have not been forgotten. 


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Natasha's Birthday

It is 8:00 a.m. in St. Petersburg, Russia.

That means it is Natasha's 8th birthday.

Last year on Natasha's birthday I made this video for her.

We were anxiously awaiting a court date and 

I was dreaming about what this years birthday would be like for her

when she would finally be home and

 have a family of her own.

Because of the adoption ban,

this year on her birthday I am finishing up a different video.

One that shows at least 30 families and

 children that are in the same position we are.

Wanting only one thing for Christmas that we know we can't have.

Happy Birthday my sweet little Natasha. 

I hope you enjoy the hats and dress we sent for you and your friends.

We love and miss you. 


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Show Me How Big Your Brave Is

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love

Or you can start speaking up






Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do

And they settle 'neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you





Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave





Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down
By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty

Don't run, stop holding your tongue



Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is





Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave





And since your history of silence

Won't do you any good

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don't you tell them the truth?




Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave















Stepping out of my comfort zone and getting my brave face on for Saturday. 

Wish my luck and stay tuned. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Shock Factor

When people are trying to bring awareness to a cause they usually go for 
The Shock Factor. 

In doing so they get a reaction out of people. 

A lot of journalist use this technique. 

They know that if they don't most people will not care or stop to read 
what it is they have to say. 

Below are two photos of children taken off the Russian Data Base. 

This one is of a little girl who lived in baby house first and then 
was transferred to an institution. 






This one is of a little boy who met the same fate. 
































My guess is after looking at these pictures you are 
Shocked. 

The thing about these pictures is they are not necessarily the norm.

They are meant to Shock you and get your attention. 

Regardless if it is the norm or not it is the reality of these two children. 

So why am I showing you these pictures? 

Is it to Shock you into doing something? 

Yes. 

Does this mean I think Russia is horrible and America is better? 

No. 

Does it mean things like this don't happen in America?

No.


It means I care about these two children. 

That they count. 

That their lives matter. 

When this happens in America it is ALL over the news. 

If these were American children ever FB page would have the story 
plastered all over it. 

If animals in America are being treated like this it hits the TV news
and every social media outlet. 

So why do we care so little when it happens to these children?

Do we feel like there is nothing we can do so we should just hide our faces
and pretend it isn't happening? 

Do we think that it is just the Russian citizen's problem?

Why can't we care about all the children of the world? 


I am just trying to process why this is. 

I am not writing this post to try and shame the Russian people or to try and prove 
that America is better than Russia. 

I am sincerely writing this post because I care about these children and want to help. 

Two years ago I thought the way I was to help was by adopting one of them. 

My reason for adopting and not doing anything else wasn't because I didn't
think more needed to be done. 

My reason for adopting and doing nothing else was because it was all I felt I had 
the time and energy to do. 

My thought was if I could help just one child have a home I was 
doing my part. 

But now my focus is much larger. 

Over time I have learned about and donated to organization that help 
children with Special Needs stay with their birth families.   

I have learned and donated to organizations that make the orphanages a better place. 

Honestly I would like to go back to being naive. 

To not knowing children like these exist and live in these conditions. 

Instead I toss and turn at night and think of ways I can help
all of these children. 

I am not a wealthy person and am not an elegant talented blog writer. 

I do not have important contacts and most of the time I am ignored on FB
when I plead for help. 

So sometimes I resort to The Shock Factor. 

It gets people's attention. 

Here is the truth. 

These two children above look like this because they were in good 
baby houses and then transferred to bad institutions. 

Natasha was in an ok baby house and transferred to a 
remarkable institution and now looks better than when she was in the baby house. 

These children deserve a good family. 

Some families who have adopted Russian children have not been good families. 

Children in America and Russia are abused. 

For that matter

Children all over the world are abused. 

I am just one insignificant person who cries herself to sleep at night
because I can't do more for these children. 

I have a way I think will help raise awareness for these children
and maybe even get them adopted in their own country. 

There are two organizations that I have verified as being good.

Downside Up is one that helps families by providing
services to them so they can keep their children with Down syndrome.
So far they are only located in Moscow.
They need to grow to the poorer regions to really make a difference
on the orphanages.

It is my hope that people will see the value in these children and will
even be led to adopt them.

http://downsideup.org/ru

 ROOF is another organization that does wonderful things
to help make orphanages a better place.

http://eng.roofnet.org/

Our hope is to also try and get the remaining children that were matched
with American families home to them or adopted by Russian families. 

Some of the children have been adopted and we rejoice in that. 

But here is an article from the St. Petersburg Ombudsman
written July 31, 2013 
that shows only 4 people in 6 months have come forward to adopt the 33 matched children 
from St. Petersburg. 

Specialized departments of the city are actively recruiting new candidates for adoption, but in six months there was a total of four applicants. And, two - foreigners: from Italy and the UK. And two Russian families: some are just taking the girl with a diagnosis of HIV among the "thirty-three", but others are skeptical. But this is progress: for the other twenty-nine children the attention of potential parents can only dream ....


It does not include the child with Down syndrome that 
was reunited with his birth family. 

So even though children are being adopted by 
families other than Americans
there are still children stuck in institutions that could have come home. 

Most of these children are older children, sibling groups or children
with severe disabilities. 


These children cannot be forgotten.

Please help me spread the word about them.

The above pictures are shocking and although not all children
in orphanages are treated this way a lot of them are.  

I realize that opening up adoptions to Americans again 
does not solve the orphan crisis in Russia but 
it can help until the country is ready to care for all their disabled children themselves. 

As I become more aware of programs that help these children 
in Russia I will post that information here. 

I still pray that one day there will be no need for orphanages 
where child with Special Needs are housed. 

The best place for these children would be with their birth families. 
Praying we can find a way to help them advance their resources but until that
time I will pray that those children stuck in orphanages find families. 




























Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Metcha Day


Metcha Day
July 18, 2012

That's the name people who are adopting children internationally 
call the day they first meet their child. 

Metcha Day

The day you see in real life the little one you have 
loved from a far for so very long. 

One year ago today was

Metcha Day

I remember it like it was yesterday. 


Oh how nervous I was about meeting Natasha. 
I knew I would want to cry and run and scoop her up in my arms
but I knew that if I did I would frighten her. 
So I told myself to remember to show restraint. 

In the beginning that wasn't too hard.
We were in a hallway when they brought her out 
kicking and screaming. 

Boy was she mad!

Her group had just been taken outside and that is where she wanted to be. 

She didn't want us. 
She didn't want our toys. 
She wanted to go outside. 
And that was that.

I could have cried all I wanted and she would 
not have cared one little bit.

It definitely was not the way I had played it out in my mind. 

So it was time to change our game plan.

After about 2 minutes of her throwing her fit 
we asked if it would be ok for us to play outside with her. 

Once outside we were mobbed by all the other little children. 

But not Natasha

She was off and running
like a scene out of Madagascar 
with the music Born Free playing loudly in the background. 

Steve and I had to pry the other little children off us 
as they tried stroking our faces and saying
Mama and Papa in Russian. 

Their little faces are all a blur to me now. 

The child I was there for was the only one I could focus on.

I couldn't think too long or too hard about the other children 
because I knew it would break my heart to know 
they would most likely never have a Mama or a Papa. 

Natasha was to be the second child ever adopted from her orphanage.

The first child was also adopted from an American couple.

Some of the children who lived there had families that would come
and visit them weekly. So these children knew what
a mama and papa were. They had seen other children have them.

The workers finally had to scold the children to make them leave us alone.

 Our new plan included
blowing up a beach ball and chasing after Natasha. 


The ball was a hit
and after a few minutes we were all instant friends. 


From that moment on she couldn't get enough of us. 
Anything we said or showed her in sign language
she eagerly repeated. 


I can still hear her say the word "book"
in her little Russian accent. 

The word "book" from a child we were told did not know how to speak. 

She picked up the sign for ball and again very fast 


and was excited to show anyone who would watch her. 



Metcha Day

A day that brought so much joy to our lives. 

A day that we had longed for 
for so long. 

It had finally come
and it was a dream come true.

When we got back to our hotel room we 
looked at the pictures 
and I cried.

All those tears of worry and fear came tumbling down.
All the waiting and the paper chasing had all been worth it.

We had finally met her
and we were finally One Step Closer
to having her join our family.

Our pictures from our trip
 looked like something out of a fairy tale. 

You would have never guessed Natasha wanted nothing to 
do with us the first 5 minutes we were there. 

Looking at the pictures I could see the connection. 
Looking at her look into my eyes
and study my face left  me breathless.

There were no need for words
Our hearts were talking to each other
and it was a moment that will be etched in my brain forever. 

I look back and wonder how a day that was so glorious
and filled with hope
can cause so much pain now. 




Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
I would be her mom
They won't let her be my girl


Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
I would be her mom
They won't let her be my girl


Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in



Blithe smile, lithe limb
eyes that sparkle to the brim
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl I know
And Heaven knows
They won't let her be my girl



Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the role I'm in
There's a girl I know
I love her so
but they won't let her be my girl



Below is the video we made of the first two days of our visits. 
It is a video I have watched hundreds of times
trying to relive those precious days. 

These pictures and videos are all that 
are left of my hopes and dreams for this little girl.




We have been trying for the past few months to see if we 
can find a family who would be willing to adopt Natasha. 

We were searching in Canada 
but recently found out that Russia is considering banning
all foreign adoptions. 

We would never want a couple or Natasha to 
go through meeting each other only to 
have the Russian government halt everything again. 

So far none of the children with DS have
been adopted that were matched with Americans. 

One child with DS might be
taken home by his birth family. 

We would love that for Natasha if it was an option. 
Unfortunately, it is not. 

I have written a letter to her region's Ombudsman. 
This woman is an amazing woman who 
fought long and hard for the children 
she is in charge of to come to 
the parents they met. 

She has given numerous interviews telling
how many children have been adopted due to the increase in funds
but also how many of them have been returned back to the orphanages
because of lack of training and support. 

My heart would break even more if a family took Natasha home
only to send her back

(according to the Ombudmans that is over 100 of 500 children adopted last year in her region only)

That would mean Natasha would lose her spot at her really good orphanage
and would just have to go back to wherever there was space. 

I continue to pray that does not happen.

The other thing we are fearful about right now is 
that the main Ombudsman is threatening to send the children in Natasha's region
to Chechnya.

One of my friends in Russia is very 
concerned about this.

He sent me the link to the article in Russia and said he would 
be praying hard this does not happen. 

Most people that live in Natasha's region are outraged by the ban.

They have all been working hard to find local families for these children
and also to provide support to families who want to keep their children.

But they feel like they are not in a position yet to take this task on their own.

If Natasha is adopted and then returned or if she is sent to
Chechnya there will be no news stories covering it.
There will be no outrage.
Only a few people will even notice or care.

This is why I continue to fight for her.

Not because I feel ENTITLED to have her be my daughter.

She is ENTITLED to a family.

A loving family.

Until the day I know she has one
she will be MY daughter
because right now she is no one else's.

I will continue to show her photos and video to
everyone I can get to look.

I will beg people to help me either get her home
or find a new family for her.

Her sad little database picture shows nothing
of her true personality and hasn't been updated in 3 years.

The pictures on my blog are magical and they are mine.
They show a beautiful little girl with an amazing spirit.
And if they help me find someone to be her family
or help our governments understand how much she is loved
they will have served their purpose.

Someone asked me recently when I would have closure
and be able to move on.

The answer is very simple....

When she is home.

Until then I will love you in my heart and dreams sweet Natasha.

Happy Metcha Day!